That's a lie,
I need the numbers
how many clicks and scrolls
how far each person reads
whether they like it, whether they like me
I need the value of my thoughts
of my skills
of myself
said back to me every day
graphed out, averaged, and proven
---
It is only through this that I can
grow
achieve
succeed
I have to appeal to the onslaughts
stay true to my own thoughts
and gather, collect, and report my success
---
It is only through the validation of others that I know my work is good
but it is not through you, rather the royal you, all viewers quickly clicking to get their quick fix before moving on
forgetting
forsaking
---
It is through catching the algorithm that my ideas can have worth
that I can have worth
that I can succeed.
---
Every idea must be battle tested, new and unique, and more of the same
Spontaneity, Sincerity, Skill, and Speed must work in harmony
but I can't do it anymore
---
I need to move away from it
towards community
towards friendship
towards growth
because despite the constant shifts in tastes, styles, and individuals
the algorithm is static, unchanging, and bland.
The people around me have ideas that transcend the trends and will grow and surpass the ability to be classified
I want to be more like them
---
Writing in a place that can't tell me the number of seconds someone spent thinking about me is agony
at first
but then I grow and create, in my town time, in my own place, for myself
And it is through this that I am able to
grow
achieve
and succeed
on my own terms
-----
this is my first time writing anything like this, I won't know how many people see it, but I want to know how you felt reading it. Reach out to me if you want.